The Soul Of My Feet

Just wanted to call in and give you a little update on life. I was driving back from college today and life began to churn through my head which it usually does when I’m driving. And a great song came on about being stuck in the middle, holding onto the past but not grabbing hold of the future and I felt like the words were really speaking to me in a big way. You see most of the time  I feel like I’m in this tug of war. This inner battle of really wanting to give it all up for God and His plans for my life yet holding onto the old plans just in case things don’ t turn out. What it really means is that I’m not trusting in God at all because I’m still trying to be in control. I’m living in two worlds and trying to please both. I can only hope and pray that God will help me to lean on him more and be prepared to let go of things as he prepares me to. Somehow I feel stuck in the middle at college too, being a part-time student is hard because I’m not there all week and I can’t fully get involved in college life and groups seem to be already forming and I’m not a part of it. I had a real sense of loneliness today and I just wanted to run but just as I was about to, a random girl came and said hello and I had a friend. Sometimes I wish I could break into groups more easily but that’s just the introverted side of me rearing it’s head again. So today I pray that God will help me to get out of being in the middle and cross to the other side…

It felt like my first day of school today…I got up at the crack of dawn which is the first thing I am amazingly surprised at because I am most definitely not a morning person, never have and thought I never would be but this morning I saw the sunrise until I entered the fog of Sydneys ‘hinterland’. Then after the hour trip I wandered into the gounds of SMBC and well for a moment I wondered whether it really was me and if this was where I was supposed to be. I felt like the class nerd not knowing anyone until and couple of friendly asian girls asked if I would put my name in their address book. That meant I was considered a friend. Yay! I was in and in that moment I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Lecture was great, even though I  realised how little I actually knew about the Bible. This may seem quite obvious to you or you might be in my position but I never thought about the author of Acts, in fact I thought the author was Paul but no it’s actually Luke, anyhow better study lots that’s all I can say!!

Tried to get a photo of my first day but camera failed, will post one next week!